Monday, 2 April 2012

Vineyard warzone

In case you didn't recognize the shooter, it's me;
shooting for the first time and winning a tournament!
Do you know what it's like to live in a place surrounded by thousands of hectares of vineyards with ripening grapes? It's like being in the middle of a war! Actually, take out the word "like" and you get the real thing. There's a war going on, a war for juice, a war between birds and farmers.
It's happening right outside my window and the usual saying "wake up and smell the coffee" feels more like "wake up and smell the gunpowder".

The first line of defence is netting; entire vineyards get wrapped in white nets - from far away it almost looks as though they've been snowed in - but that's hardly enough to keep the pecking flocks away. There are always holes in the nets, cheap solutions such as fake plastic hawks fail miserably, and therefore heavier measures need to be adopted. Most farmers adopt noise!

New Zealanders have two very effective weapons, and they love to use them from the very wee hours right until sundown (just because they're not allowed to make noise after dark). The first one is to drive around on quad bikes and shoot from double-barrel shotguns (if you're thinking of taking a stroll between the vines, think twice). When trigger-happy old farts don't do the trick, it's time to call in the heavy artillery. I don't know who invented this genially simple device, but I'd put my money on a Kiwi. All you need is a gas bottle, a steel pipe to send the gas in, and a car battery to create a spark that makes it go BANG!


  1. Haahaha I see, living between the rows of vineyards in the time of harvest made you write this :))

  2. Marek: pěkně sis zastřílel, ještě že máš letitou praxi z dooma a pod:-))

  3. Ahoj, nevim jestli mám psát česky nebo anglicky. Anyway, po letech jsem si na tebe čirou náhodou vzpomněl, vygoogloval blog a zírám, jak se stále potloukáš po světě. Měj se pěkně, drž se a... ať žije pivo!

    1. Jé Bludr, to je prekvapeni :) no jo potloukam se a snad este dlouho potloukat budu, ackoliv za mesic me ceka navrat do rodne vlasti. z nevedomosti jsem si totiz koupil dost drahou zpatecni letenku ktera nejde prebookovat a nechci ji nechat propadnout. no co, holt se obetuju a po roce si dam naky to cesky pivo... takze dik za pravej ceskej pozdrav :)


Due to the amount of spam, I no longer receive email notifications about new comments, so if you write one, I will probably never know.