Tuesday, 8 May 2012
Farewell New Zealand
For the past two months my mind was torn between two equally attractive options, I changed my decision hundreds of times, weighed pros and cons of both options time and again, and every time I thought I had made a final decision, the other possibility popped up in my head again, with new arguments to consider.
Although the reasoning part of me was for leaving, the emotional one tried really hard to make me stay, and over time it was starting to win. The strongest argument for leaving, except for the approaching winter, e.g. short days and freezing mornings, was that my mum would probably kill me if I told her, with only a few weeks' notice, that I changed my mind and wouldn't be coming home. She'd probably fly to NZ and drag me home by the ear. In the end, though, even these two barriers didn't stop me from making a final, definitive decision.
During a bike ride through a beautifully sunlit autumn valley, I realized that I don't care about reasoning and arguments, I just want to stay and that's it. However, by the time this last-minute decision to change plans clicked in, it was too late. Applying for a visa extension means parting with one's passport for a couple of weeks (it must be sent to the immigration bureau), and that would mean that I'd miss the holiday in Tonga with my best friend (which was a huge push for my decision) and in the unlikely event that the visa extension would be declined, I'd have missed my return trip to Europe, too, so I'd be triple fucked - no holiday, no visa, and no ticket home. Too risky for my taste.
So here I am, in Christchurch, writing my last post before heading to the airport. Thank you New Zealand for this amazing year and I look forward to seeing you again!